


Murder Pals

by smthelj, tajn



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Blood, Death, Organized Crime, Pictures, Psychoteeth, Serial Killers, let's kill, murders and stuff, read just for the art, roosterteeth, written style as well
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-11-04
Updated: 2016-10-25
Packaged: 2018-02-24 03:55:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,461
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2567297
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smthelj/pseuds/smthelj, https://archiveofourown.org/users/tajn/pseuds/tajn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Serial Killer AU!<br/>The guys have never met and they have all killed in one way or another. Watch as they come together, murder together, and maybe... die together?!? </p><p>Co-written by http://cantankerouskaputnik.tumblr.com/</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The preview

  


<http://murderpals.tumblr.com/image/101701152640>

Michael, what are you doing in Houston? You do know there has been a string of terrible murders there, right? Don’t you read the newspaper?


	2. Cup of Tea

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> first chapter of the work!   
> it's been a long time coming!!! 
> 
> Comment and Kudo to let us (it's a collab work) know how we are doing 
> 
> Also let me know if you see the image

 

Ryan stared down at the body and sighed. This was just the thing that would ruin his night. A small line of blood dribbled down the side of the dead man’s mouth. Ryan glance up and down the path to see if anyone was coming but no one. And the jogger wasn’t supposed to be there for another 45 minutes. “No use in screaming,” Ryan mumbled as he tried to think of the appropriate reaction to seeing something like this. 

Calling the police was one option but he really didn’t need the attention. And he could just imagine the police coming over to his house for a statement and one of them stumbling into his studio. Maybe he should just leave the body and the jogger could deal with it. “At least I have a back up at home already,” Ryan said getting a closer look at the body. He was somewhat curious as to how the killer would end their victims. They obviously had no presentation with just throwing the body at the side of the path. 

Suddenly the corpse took a gasp of air. Ryan blinked in surprise. “Oh.” Ryan said slowly and trying to figure out the situation he had gotten himself into. 

“What the bloody hell do you mean by ‘Oh’” The corpse said springing up into a sitting position and begun to angrily wipe the obviously fake blood away from his mouth. “If you’re not going to react, move along,” the man said pointing down the path.

“Sorry?” Ryan said. Slightly taken aback by the fact that the man was British and that the man had been pretending to be dead. 

“ It was the best take I’ve had all day.” The British man mumbled, “The lighting was fantastic.” The young man said looking into the sky. 

“You’re filming?” Ryan said as things began to click into place. 

“You’re a bloody brilliant one, aren’t you?” the young man said standing up and patting the dirt off himself. 

“So where’s the rest of your film crew?” Ryan said trying to peek into the bushes but seeing nothing.

“Just me,” the young said sighing, and crawling into a nearby bush to grab a hidden camera.

“Just you?” Ryan said raising an eyebrow and trying not to smile. 

“So why didn’t you react?” the man asked but his entire focus was on the footage on the camera. “What gave it away, because on the footage I look pretty damn realistic,” 

“I wouldn’t say that you didn’t look dead,” Ryan said truthfully. He has seen many bodies in his day and this guy could have easily passed for one in the pile. “But you were definitely lacking something. The shock factor,”

“Quite the expert, eh?” the man smirked and looking up from his camera. 

“I’m a fan of horror movies, what can I say?” Ryan said easily. “In fact, I have quite the collection of ... props.” 

“Props?” a small smile played on the young man’s lips. 

“Actually I live just down the street.” Ryan said smiling warmly. “If you want, we could take a look,” 

The young man started at Ryan with a critical glaze until it was broken by a huge smile, “Alright,” The man said running into the bushes to collect his things, “I’m Gavin by the way,” 

“Ryan. It’s a pleasure,” Ryan said smiling at Gavin’s back. The jogger would have been good for tonight, but damn did Ryan love his irony.


	3. Bottom of the Glass

The bar was dim. Both in lighting and in atmosphere. The whole place was shrouded in a thick haze and stunk like old cigarette smoke.

The clientele of the bar was a mixing pot of criminals.

At the pool tables, were the usual biker types. Loud, brash, and very drunk, but they were probably the most honest of the crooks that frequented the bar. These guys would punch you in the face instead of stabbing you in the back. The booths in the back had the organized criminals. To the untrained eye, these guys looked like a couple of white collars who went to the wrong bar after work. But a glance under the table and you would see the two smiling men’s’ true intentions. Two glocks pointed at each other and threatening to touch muzzles. These guys were not one to fuck with. Then at the tables were the everyday criminals. The kind of guys who didn’t really matter in the bigger picture. Then finally at the bar where the drunks. The guys who were there to forget something and they did it in the worst way possible.

At one point in his life, Geoff would have never been caught in a place like this. But here he was, staring blankly down at his half filled glass of whiskey. He glance over at the four identical glasses that now stood empty and gave an exhausted sigh. 

“You know, I haven’t always been like this,” Geoff said to no one in particular and taking a drink from the glass in his hand.

“Surprisingly, you aren’t the first person to say something like that,” the young bartender said flatly.

“I was on top of the world.” Geoff nodded, ”Everything was coming up Geoff,” He took a long drink from his glass. then with a note of nostalgia, “things were great,” Geoff rested his head into the nook of his arm. 

“Not the first time I heard that either” The bartender sighed and flipped her bangs away from her face. 

“I had friends,” Geoff sighed. “The best ones you could ask for. They had my back but they weren’t afraid to kick my ass if I was doing something stupid,” 

“They sound alright,” the bartender said. 

“Burnie was going places, Joel was fucking hilarious, and Gus was an asshole,” Geoff said smiling into his glass. “... Jason was cool too,” 

“So where is everyone now?” the bartender said pulling out another glass for Geoff.   
“Burn’s went to jail. then everyone just disbanded,” Geoff said. He searched every pocket for some change and after a few moment he had finally collected enough for the beverage and a measly tip. 

The bartender noted that this would be Geoff last drink.“Jail. Why?” the bartender said absent-mindedly. Most of the men at this bar had been sent to jail once or twice but the young bartender had no idea the landmine she had just walked into. 

“For no good fucking reason.” Geoff’s voice rose. “ Some shithead planted drugs at our workplace. Burnie got the blame. and his ass was in jail before we knew it,” Geoff threw the drink back.” 

“Huh.” the bartender said trying to slowly remove herself from the conversation and she moved down the near empty bar. 

“All because of that fucking Texan.” Geoff croaked loudly and catching the attention of several men in the bar.

The bartender eyes narrowed and she leaned in close. “Maybe you shouldn’t say that name around here.” 

“What’s going to happen? ” Geoff squacked. “Someone going to shit on my dreams? I hope they like sloppy fucking seconds.” Geoff heard two chairs scratch against the floor and heavy footsteps come from behind him. He felt hot stale breath of his neck that was almost on the same level of intoxication as Geoff. 

“Can I get you boys anything,” the bartender said smoothly. 

“Nothing right now, buttercup,” the larger of the men said taking a long drag of his cigarette. “Maybe after some exercise,” the man’s voice turned dark. 

“Speak of the devil,” Geoff nodded drunkenly. “But I’m surprised these bitches can hear me with their heads so far up the texan’s ass,” 

“What the fuck did you just call us,” the smaller one said. Placing a hand on Geoff shoulder and squeezing hard hard but Geoff seemed to hardly notice.

“Bitches,” Geoff said dragging out the word. 

The larger man seemed unfazed by Geoff’s taunts but that was proven untrue when he leaned over the bar menacingly. “You really shouldn’t talk about our boss that way,” The man said flicking his cigarette into Geoff’s drink. 

Geoff’s expression turned dark. “Wasting alcohol” Geoff tsked. 

The bartender, who had been watching the whole ordeal, cleared her throat, “No fighting in the bar.” 

“What are you going to do about that, honeybuns?” The smaller man said almost sneering. 

“I could call Adam out,” the bartender said fluttering her eyelashes and smiling sweetly. “Or, I could handle you two myself,” She said pulling up her apron to expose a gun. “You know, here, we do more than just ban our customers.” the bartender winked and let her apron fall. 

The two men exchanged glances before the larger one said, “We don’t want to get your hands dirty, miss. We would be happy to excuse ourselves from the bar.” the duo left but not before the smaller one could give Geoff a dirty look. 

“Thanks,” Geoff said rubbing his face to try and sober up. 

“Don’t thank me yet, it’s last call,” the bartender said looking down at her phone, “Ray,” the bartender called down to a young man who was cleaning the floor, “It’s last call,” and she left Geoff to his own devices. 

“Might as well go now, then” Geoff said sighing deeply. Geoff pushed himself off the stool made his way towards the door. 

A blast of cold air hit him as he stumbled into the dark street. The only light came from the flickering streetlights and those only gave Geoff a headache. Geoff tried to rub the cold off his nose as he stumbled his way home.

After only being a hundred meters or so away from the bar, Geoff felt a sharp push from behind and landed into the dank alley way. “Jesus Christ,” Geoff said pulling himself out of the puddle of… something that he had landed it. 

“Remember us?” the smaller of the men sneering and cracked his knuckles. 

“Nope,” Geoff deadpanned and pulled himself up off the ground.

“Motherfucker-” The smaller one said taking a menacing step towards Geoff. 

“Calm down,” the larger man said staring down his nose at Geoff, “This guy is worthless.”

“Not as worthless as some no name mooks,” Geoff swayed. 

“My name is goddamn Craig,” Craig’s face beginning to turn red who took a wide swing at Geoff head, but Geoff merely swayed out of the way. 

“Like I won’t forget that in a drunken haze,” Geoff said managing to roll his eyes and put his hands in pockets. 

“Fuck you,” Craig said, winding up his arm almost comically. And once again, Geoff easily evaded the man’s fist. But he also gave a sharp push to Craig’s back, who then tumbled into the garbage. “Mother-Sean do something,” Craig said in a tone that was similar to whimpering towards the other larger man.

“You couldn’t hit me with a two foot pole.” Geoff gloated at the downed Craig and didn't even see Sean pick up the large pipe off the ground and slam it into Geoff’s side. 

“I guess a pipe works,” Geoff said spitting out a glob of blood. 

“Craig,” Sean sighed. “Why do you always let these guys bother you?” 

Craig scrambled up off the ground and glared down at Geoff. And Geoff would have laughed at the dark red shade in Craig’s face if he wasn’t scared of rupturing a lung. 

“You know guys like this mean nothing in the larger picture,” Sean continued. 

“If I’m nothing then why the fuck did you hit me with a lead pipe,” Geoff said pushing himself up.

“It’s on principal.” 

“Principal of being an asshole,” Geoff mumbled, which earned him a swift kick from Sean. 

Craig’s face was near purple now and several vein’s had somehow managed not to burst from his neck. Craig turned to the larger man and spat, “Sean are we going to let this drunk shit on us?” 

“Calm down, Craig.” Sean said rolling his eyes. “this guy means nothing to us in the larger picture,”

“If I’m nothing,” Geoff said his eyes shining with clarity, “Then why the fuck did you bean me in the head with a goddamn metal pipe?” 

“The texan and his associates” Sean said gesturing between himself and Craig, “ have a reputation to uphold. And when people like you try to tarnish our good name, we … well, craig has to keep drunks like you in line.”   
“Best job I ever had” Craig sneered as his face faded to a more human colour.

 

Sean smiled. “you see when someone bad mouths the boss, we” Sean gestured between him and Craig, “We got permission to deal with them. Craig.” 

“With pleasure.” Craig said with a edge of arrogance. Craig pulled Geoff up off the ground only to slam his fist into Geoff stomach. “Third times the charm,” Craig said as if was the funniest thing in the world. 

“Fuck you,” Geoff said globbing out a mouthful of spit and blood. The smile on Sean’s face remained and Craig punched Geoff in the stomach again. This time the blow make Geoff fall to his knees. “If i was sober I would be beating the shit out of you,”

“But you’re not” Craig punctuated with a kick and leaving Geoff on the ground.

Sean cleared his throat as if he was about to give some profound speech. “You’re a fucking loser. A nobody.” Sean articulated and began walking towards Geoff. then with surprising gentleness, Sean placed a foot onto Geoff’s head.

“Your beneath his feet,” Craig said quickly and snickered at his own joke. 

Sean glared at Craig. “thank you, Craig.” Sean said and turned his attention back on Geoff. “Do you know how many guys Craig has roughed up in this alley?” 

Geoff remained silent. 

“Twelve,” Craig supplied after counting them out on his fingers, “this month.” 

“Do you think Craig could could name any of those guys?” Sean said. 

“Nope.” Craig said shaking his head as if it was the saddest fact in the world. 

“You called us ‘no named mooks’ but honestly what are the odds that he’s going to remember your name?” Sean said removing his foot and turning his back to Geoff. 

“I have a shit memory too,” Craig said also leaving. 

“My name’s Geoff,” Geoff growled. “And I swear on my dick that you fucker’s will remember my name one day,” 

“the Texan says howdy,” Sean said with a lazy wave over his shoulder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> finally wrote a new chapter! This chapter we see Geoff but who will come next time? And what's happening with Gavin and Ryan? All will be revealed! See you next time on murderpals! 
> 
> (... I dont know how but i feel like i just wrote a promotional advertisment for the next episode for a tv show)


	4. I Need a Doctor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (but ive already lost my mind) 
> 
> day one of tajn's spooky surprises. Look forward to more?

In his six years working at his private practice, as Jack liked to call the large warehouse that Don Calzone had donated for Jack’s less that legal medical practice, he had never met such a high-energy, obnoxious patient. 

The first thing that the man had done when entering the warehouse was scream that he needed a doctor. Obviously, Jack had come running. From the way the man was screaming, Jack had thought that someone was missing an arm or his or her guts were hanging out. But jack was met with a man with a gash on his forehead, screaming that “this better not fuck with my handsome face,” 

“So you think he has a brain injury?” the new nurse whispered into Jack’s ear.

“I don’t think so,” Jack laughed.

“I’m bleeding out, stop chit chatting!” the man said flopping into a chair dramatically. 

“Okay,” Jack said calmly trying to pass the calm energy to the patient. “Can you tell me what happened?” 

“Yeah, some asshole threw a beer bottle at my head.” the man said before mumbling about getting him back. 

“Ok. Are you hurt anywhere else?” Jack said ignoring the comment. It was a phrase that he constantly heard and he had learned not to react to it as much.

“Oh god I hope not,” the man said patting at his arms and legs trying to find some non-existent injury. “I can’t die. I have too much shit to do before I die.” The man moaned.

“Then let’s patch you up.” Jack sighed and began examining the large cut on the constantly flinching, man’s forehead. “Nurse, can you get the equipment I need for the sutures.” 

“Yes Doctor.” the nurse said quickly leaving Jack’s side. 

“I told you not to call me that” Jack called half-heartedly. He had tried to get the nurses to stop calling him that for months but it was a losing battle. 

“SUTURES?” the man said going a bit white. “Those are fucking stiches aren’t they? I came in for like a bandage. Not a fucking needle in my forehead. This is bullshit.”

Jack internally cursed. His patient mostly didn’t know what the word suture meant, which made the patient considerably more relaxed until the procedure. But of course this guy knew what the word meant. “The laceration is a bit deep for a simple bandage. And with some sutures the wound will heal better as well as faster. Both of which lead to a decreased risk of heavy scaring.” Jack said slowly.

“This is going to scar?” the man’s eyes widened. “ 

“Yes.” 

“Fuck me,” the man mumbled. “At least I will look cool as dicks.” 

“The coolest.” Jack said with a small smile and the nurse returned. 

“So,” the tattooed man said shifting in his seat. “I heard that there is a pretty good doctor here.” 

“All the doctors here are good.” Jack said and noted that the nurse had forgotten the sterile gloves. “I’ll be right back. Can you administer the numbing agent for the sutures?” Jack said leaving before the nurse could answer. 

When Jack returned, the nurse had left and the man was sitting contently in the chair. “Ready?” Jack asked and began setting up the sterile field. 

“Yeah.” Geoff said gripping the chair. “Anyways, as I was saying, I heard that there was an exceptional doctor here that treated the higher class patients.” 

“Am I not good enough for you?” Jack asked raising an eyebrow. 

“I’m not so stupid that would badmouth the doctor who is pushing a hook through my forehead.” The man scoffed. “ I was just look for her,” 

“her?”

“Yeah, Jacqueline I think her name it. Heard she was the smartest and hottest person who worked here.” 

“She isn’t in.” Jack said beginning the last suture.

“When will she be in,” 

“Not today.” 

“Shit,” the man said his grip hardening on the chair, “When will she be in.” 

“Not for a while.” Jack said. “And you’re done.” 

“Oh well.” The man said sitting up, “What about you?” 

“me?” 

“yeah. You work here you must have some info.” 

“We don’t sell information. This is a healing environment and we don’t sell information on our clientele.” 

“What if it isn’t about your clientele.” The man said getting a dangerous look in his eye. 

“Who the hell do you want info on,” 

“The Texan. And don’t you fucking lie and tell me he comes here cause I know for a fact that he has those fucks in Holy United in his fucking pocket.” 

“I know.” Jack said his eyes darkening. “They were doing some shitty stuff over there so I left.” 

Geoff nods. “I know there was a significant increase in surgeries being fucked up after the Texan gave an anonymous donation.” 

“How do you know it was the Texan doing it,” Jack said. he had known that some criminal syndicate was controlling the hospital but he was never ever to figure out who it was. 

“”I got my dick in everyone’s pie,” Geoff’s smug expression morphed into cold rage. “But the Texan is a fucking dead man. Him and all his ‘associates’” 

“You’re crazy, man.” 

“Yeah, well. I’m not crazy enough to go in blind.” Geoff said instantly relaxing as Jack finished the last stich. “So you wanna do a little show and tell. I can get you some more Intel on holy united hospital”

“… I don’t have much on the Texan” Jack said as his mind continued to flash with all the memories of the injuries the Texan had caused. 

“Anything is better than nothing and all that. Meet me at this bar in an hour.” The man said flicking a business card at Jack.

“You can’t drink with the numbing agent,” Jack said quickly. “The nurse should have told you about that.”

“Yeah that’s why I didn’t get any.” The man said sliding off the table and heading towards the door. “Those stiches hurt like a bitch by the way. So I better look fucking cool after this.” 

“Why the fuck didn’t you get freezing?” Jack said bewildered. 

“Ask for Geoff Ramsey,” Geoff said with a lazy wave. 

Jack had no idea what he was in for.

**Author's Note:**

> to find the most recent updates, go to the tumblr 
> 
> http://murderpals.tumblr.com/


End file.
